The Pillsbury Doughboy
It is with the saddest heart that I pass along the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon, the veteran Pillsbury spokesman. It was announced early today, the Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. As a long-time friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded and how he rose quickly in show business, with his later life filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting most of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was, as a crusty, old man, considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no tart. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral will be held today at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.